Why did you say you were ready?
There is absolutely nothing like having a guest tell you they are ready to order and then leaving you standing there with your pen poised above the paper while they continue to silently read the menu. It’s different if you have questions about the menu or you need help finding where the salad section is.
It’s just strange to tell another person you are ready for them to do their job and then not allowing them to. Servers are hopefully busy with other things – and even if they were not, I can’t imagine one of them enjoying watching you read your menu while simply standing there. I also can’t imagine why you would enjoy that, but apparently some of you do.
What if you told a doctor you were ready for your pelvic exam and then stood there with your hand of the button of your pants and then stood there some more. I think they would assume you were not ready. Or crazy, which is a real possibility.
If you’re not ready, I really will come back. It’s my job to come back. It’s also my job to come back to the other tables I promised I would be back but instead I’m standing here watching you read your menu.
You have no idea the kind of random shit that runs through my mind watching you read your menu.
I can hear other tables being seated in my section. Hopefully they are not crazy.
I wonder if the food is ready for my table where the baby is crying. Hopefully they are not crazy.
I need to make salads for the table that ordered the grilled chicken breast. I know it doesn’t take very long but I thought I had time to get the salad out first before I knew you were crazy.
I know the table that is halfway done with their food needs refills. I told them I would be right back before I knew you were crazy.
I know the table that is almost done should be pre-bussed and offered dessert. I thought I had time to do this before I knew you were crazy.
Bottom line: I don’t want to watch you read your menu. You are ready or not. I can take your order or do eight other things. I hope you can read by yourself. Help me. Help me to help you.
When people do this to me I contemplate what they would do if I suddenly stabbed them in the eyeball with their fork.
ReplyDeleteWhen they die, I hope they land in purgatory. And when it's finally time to send them to where they're going, the gatekeeper says, "Okay, we're ready for you." And then stands there with his hand on the gate. And continues to stand there.
"Uh, you said you were ready for me? I'd really like to get out of here."
"Oh, yeah. I'm ready." And then he stands there for another 50 years.
I know, right? What the fuck is wrong with these people? Is it a power thing to make me stand there or are they just fucking stupid? I have about 10 seconds of politeness in me for this shit. I am a woman on the edge.
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