I have been working as a food server off and on since I was fourteen and it never gets any less interesting. This is not about fine dining, its about the flip side of the industry working in the trenches of the massive national restaurant chains. Laugh or cry, people!



Monday, February 28, 2011

Got Grrrl Trouble?

MOD:   Do you know you forgot the French dressing for table #23?
Me:      Can you get it?  I’m in the weeds.
MOD:   Sure, but… is everything ok?  You only have two tables.
Me:      I’M SORRY I’M NOT PERFECT BUT I’M TRYING TO MAKE A FUCKING MALT RIGHT NOW!!!!! (near tears).
MOD:   Uh…
Me:      I’m having a really shitty period, ok?  I’ve had the same monster cramp for ten minutes and I can barely feel my left leg, so can you take out the fucking French dressing for the fucking salad at the fuckface table OR NOT?!?!
MOD:   Ok, but after that outburst I’m not sure I believe this red-looking sauce is actually salad dressing.  Should I just pretend I know for sure?
Me:      You should buy some fucking Luminol and come play hide-n-seek in the parking lot.  I’m going outside to smoke.
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