Oh man, this is so awesome. Father of the Year is a regular customer now!
I wrote about this Twat-Waffle in my first post ever. To briefly recap, he ate a wet turkey sandwich and talked on the phone while his kid threw a full on screaming temper tantrum under the table. See my earlier posts for the full story – this guy is a real piece of work!
He came in with his kids again last night and it went pretty much like last time. Except his crazy kid was so loud, he actually got up and sat at a different table so he could hear his phone conversation. Who does this? His daughter used the opportunity to eat a bunch of jelly packets and squirt the tiny buckets of coffee creamer all over the window by their booth.
Anyway, it was dinner time and we were busy. I told him we needed the table for other guests and made sure the host seated that one next. Why did I say that if it wasn’t actually true? I guess it seems rude for me to tell an asshole like this the truth.
This isn’t your house. We don’t like you or your kid. You suck at eating out and you’re a shitty tipper. We’re not babysitters. Every guest in the dining room hates your guts. I hope one of them is calling Child Protective Services on you right now. When your daughter ends up in prison later, it will probably be the first time anyone ever made her follow a rule. If she wasn’t so positively scary, I would offer her a free kitten just to fuck with you. You can’t leave a crazy bitch like that unattended in the dining room. You are clearly not the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, so your call can wait until your child is under control. Hang up the goddamn phone and take care of your own kids.
GET OUT & DON’T COME BACK. EVER.
Ahhhh... the relief of getting it out of my system!