Got Grrrl Trouble?

MOD:   Do you know you forgot the French dressing for table #23?

Me:      Can you get it?  I’m in the weeds.

MOD:   Sure, but… is everything ok?  You only have two tables.

Me:      I’M SORRY I’M NOT PERFECT BUT I’M TRYING TO MAKE A FUCKING MALT RIGHT NOW!!!!! (near tears).

MOD:   Uh…

Me:      I’m having a really shitty period, ok?  I’ve had the same monster cramp for ten minutes and I can barely feel my left leg, so can you take out the fucking French dressing for the fucking salad at the fuckface table OR NOT?!?!

MOD:   Ok, but after that outburst I’m not sure I believe this red-looking sauce is actually salad dressing.  Should I just pretend I know for sure?

Me:      You should buy some fucking Luminol and come play hide-n-seek in the parking lot.  I’m going outside to smoke.